Finding Role Models

When I was younger I had to identify personal role models at various times in life - for school assignments, interviews and even in casual conversation. I always felt put on the spot and wanted to make sure that my reasons for selecting each role model were clear. During those times, I didn’t spend too much time thinking deeply about role models and how they impacted my life; I was mostly trying to come up with my reasons while hoping they were “good enough.”

Now that I’m older and wiser, I regularly think about who my role models are as I try to improve the quality of my life. When it comes to behavior change, it can be helpful to have role models. Having role models is related to motivation. It brings to life your reasons to change by allowing you to see the end results play out in real life.

Or imaginary life, as I’ve recently identified two new personal role models that are fictitious TV characters. Their combined personalities encompass much of how I hope to be in many ways when I reach the age of those characters and the actors playing them. Not all ways, of course, as good TV does require some drama and embellishments that I hope are absent from my actual life. But I admire the characters’ authenticity. These characters are very different from each other and it took a while for each to respect the other’s differences, but as the show went on they were able to be true to themselves and support the other as best friends do and love each other unconditionally. Here are some things I admire and like about the characters:

They are resilient, accepting unwanted and life-changing events; they allow themselves time to adjust and grieve before figuring out their next steps.

They are mavericks, venturing into business opportunities that might be considered taboo by some yet fill the need of a particular niche market.

They take risks and allow themselves to be vulnerable and support and encourage each other along the way.

They are flawed, as we all are, and accept their flaws without guilt or shame. At the same time, they work on self-improvement and do not let their flaws get in the way of achieving their goals.

They make mistakes and then have tough conversations to make amends. Then they forgive and move on.

Their bodies move with ease. As someone who has periodic back issues, noticing how easily they changed position and moved around in high-heeled shoes was something that stood out to me.

They are loyal and committed to their tribe, even when they disagree with each other.

Granted, these role models are not real people and everything I admire and know about them is made up. But I like to imagine that the actors playing them - who I also admire on their own - are not too different from their characters in this show. Thinking of these characters and the actors helps fuel my motivation and provides me with a little “umph” when I want to go off plan.

Achieving goals is hard work and even if these role models are make-believe, I know without a doubt that it took a lot of dedication, commitment and hard work for the actors to maintain their own wellbeing in order to play those characters.

So, who are your role models and what do you admire about them?