Actions matter

In my last post, I wrote about how words matter. I still believe that. But, words have less meaning if they don’t have the accompanying actions to support them. How many of us have told a friend, “I’ll call you later” and then didn’t? I know I have. I also know that as a result, the next time I’m talking with that friend and the conversation ends in the same way, they may have some doubt that I’ll follow through. I have become less reliable, or perhaps even less credible, in their eyes.

Another example is saying “I’m sorry” and continuing to repeat the same actions for which you are sorry. The remorse or regret is simply meaningless if the behavior doesn’t change.

Our actions and words don’t always align. A general example for how this might relate to wellness is saying the words, “I have no time for self-care or exercise.” I agree it may feel like that. A look at that person’s actions may show a very busy day. A closer look at the day, however, may show windows of time being lost in web-surfing or movie watching. I haven’t read any articles or seen any science on this (yet) but my gut tells me that when our actions and words misalign like that, we lose confidence in ourselves. That loss of confidence makes it harder to try new things, even if we want to.

We can only grow as individuals when we recognize the mismatch and take steps to change. Sometimes actions and words do align, and yet we still don’t feel good about our situation, or we feel stuck. If I were your coach, we would explore how your actions and words align with your values and strengths and how to make them more reflective of each other.

I hope you accepted the challenge in my last post to speak to yourself with kindness, as you would talk with a dear friend, a loved one, a child or your pet.

Today’s challenge is to align your actions with your kind words - no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Those small changes add up.