Assumptions

I grew up assuming I couldn’t garden or keep plants alive. I have vague childhood memories of a fairly large garden in our side yard, but my gardening skills at that age were limited to picking, and then eating, cherry tomatoes and green beans. For whatever reasons - probably “life” - that garden did not last long enough for me to have stronger memories about it or to learn how to plant, water and weed.

I think my dad was the gardener in the family as I remember my mom saying that she had a

talent for killing silk plants. I think a part of me absorbed that belief into my own identity and it took a long time for me to figure out that I actually could grow things.

As a young woman in my early 20s, I was able to keep a plant alive for a short while by mostly ignoring it. That particular plant was a gift and I left it in my grandmother’s capable hands when I joined the Peace Corps. She once told me in a letter that it was doing well - with her mostly ignoring it, too.

It wasn’t until my late 20s that I decided to try and care for living things again. I inherited a

couple goldfish from one of my grad school professors. I was really proud of those fish and may have named them, though their names escape me now. They thrived for a few years and made it through two apartment moves unscathed. Around that time I tried to keep another plant alive. It was a variety that is very hard to kill - the type you see thriving in public places and doctors’ offices with very little natural light. I wasn’t so lucky as mine developed some type of disease and faced an untimely wilting.

In my 30s I tried again by growing flowers in a patio garden and was amazed at how well those flowers did! Now, in my 40s I’ve had a few years of (easy) veggies and berries under my belt. My garden is nothing fancy, but it brings me joy and pride to see my bounty grow. I’ve even started growing flowers and veggies from seed and was absolutely giddy the other day to see my sunflower seeds sprout.

I’m not sure exactly when I felt the “shift” to wanting to try to garden, but I do know that I’m

thankful I did. I’ve learned some things along the way, like how to select bunny-resistant flowers, how much sun and shade certain flowers need and how to install an adequate rabbit-proof fence. I even learned about fertilizing crops for bigger yields. My gardening skills are not stellar and my garden is far from the talk of the town (which I suppose is a good thing since it is neither the most attractive nor an eyesore), but my skills are adequate. That adequacy brings me happiness. As the season goes on and as each year passes, I become a little more confident and adventurous in what I grow. My garden is good enough and that works for me.

If you know me, you know there has to be a wellness lesson in here somewhere, right? I need to take some time and think about some of my other limiting thoughts - like the one that made me think I couldn’t garden - and where they came from. Even if those limiting thoughts are based on actual experience, I know how to research and ask for help and try things a little

differently if I want to continue to move forward. The first time my garden was razed by rabbits I didn’t give up; I did some research and figured out what to do. The 2nd season that my beans became overrun with bugs didn’t make me give up, either. I asked for help and decided I’d rather switch to different crops in subsequent years because I knew that if gardening became too hard for me, I would no longer enjoy it.

What limiting thoughts can you recognize in yourself and how does the difficulty level of what you’re trying to accomplish either support or detract from the big picture?